In this article I am going to talk about the differences between feminine and masculine energy and how you can balance them as a woman. As you might already know, men and women, both, have feminine and masculine qualities in them and these are energies which means that for example, being a woman doesn’t always mean that you are feminine energy and vice versa. In fact, we need both to survive and thrive in this world. However, we do best when we are exhibiting our natural qualities.
So in this article I am going to talk about the difference between the feminine and the masculine, my perspective about this topic and how we can best balance between these energies.
Feminine Energy vs Masculine Energy
Being versus Doing
The feminine is the being and the masculine is the doing energy. The feminine focuses on making an activity more pleasurable, while the masculine aims to make it done in the less amount of time and with efficiency. The masculine can relax after the thing is done. The feminine is more focused on the present moment.
The masculine is in the mind, the feminine is in the body. The masculine rules the upper part of the body, the feminine is more focused on the hips. Think of the hip movement of a very feminine woman. The feminine woman never is in a hurry, like Robert Green describes the “siren” in the book “The Art of Seduction”:
“The Siren never speaks quickly, aggressively, or at a high pitch. Her voice is calm and unhurried, as if she had never quite woken up—or left her bed.”
There’s no hurry in the feminine, in the way that she walks or speaks.
Men would “die” to be in her presence, especially masculine men. Think of the soldier or the very intellectual man, who is always in his mind. Green says somewhere in the book that these type of men make the perfect “victim” for the siren:
The Siren operates well on the rigid masculine type—the soldier or hero—just as Cleopatra overwhelmed Mark Antony and Marilyn Monroe Joe DiMaggio. But never imagine that these are the only types the Siren can affect. Julius Caesar was a writer and thinker, who had transferred his intellectual abilities onto the battlefield and into the political arena; the playwright Arthur Miller fell as deeply under Monroe’s spell as DiMaggio. The intellectual is often the one most susceptible to the Siren call of pure physical pleasure, because his life so lacks it.
Receiving versus Giving
Masculine men love to give and feel like heroes. The feminine is the energy of the receiving. Being more receiving means being more adaptable to the environment to receive with pleasure whatever it’s on it. But, as I’m also going to discuss below in this article, we need to balance it as being all the time into this energy of receiving can put us at risk, like for example, if we accept every invitation and don’t put boundaries in our time.
However, receiving as a woman means letting men open doors for you, listen more than you speak, gather information and use it only at the right time and be happy with whatever is without trying to change your reality with force or struggle. Receiving not only from men, but the whole environment, like receiving for example the sun light in your body.
Darkness versus Light
The feminine is the darkness in the sense that it’s mystery. The masculine is the light in the sense that it can be seen and it’s more in the material world.
The feminine manifests through desire and the inner world, while the masculine is more oriented in using the physical world to manifest. Since young, boys have that need to manipulate the outside world.
Creativity versus Structure
The masculine is about structure. The feminine is more about creativity and flow. The feminine is about the content. Think of a bottle with liquid in it. The liquid takes the shape of the container its in. The feminine needs masculine containers to flow freely. That’s why we as women need masculine structures in our life which may come from men in our lives or just structures we create for ourselves using our masculine energy.
This makes it possible to flow in our feminine more.
Pleasure versus Goal-oriented
The masculine is more goal-oriented which means that the focus is in finishing the task in the most efficient way and shorter amount of time. It is about focus until the job is finished. While the feminine is about increasing the pleasure and intensity of an activity. For example, in an everyday situation, this might mean putting some music while doing some chores or dressing with soft materials to feel and look better.
Activities like doing your makeup or talking long baths are not efficient, but are only done for aesthetics and feeling better. Often masculine men don’t feel like what they wear is important, they put less effort in their looks and more effort in what they do.
How to Attract Masculine Men (Or How to Not Turn Off Masculine Men)
If you identify as a feminine woman probably you are interested in attracting masculine men. But often this is a problem for a lot of women when they try to prove their partner or men they want to attract that they are a good partner by showing masculine qualities. We often try to love men in the way that we would like to be loved by them, but this often repulses masculine men.
Only feminine men can be attracted to masculine women. And in the world of today, it looks like the masculine qualities are valued more and like showing feminine qualities makes you seem as weak.
Woman have started to become independent thinking that this will attract men. And in fact there’s some truth to it, an independent woman will attract men. But not in the sense that an independent woman is perceived today.
In my perspective, women should be emotionally independent, not financially or being completely equal to a man to show their independence. By “equal” I mean having identical lives.
In short, to attract masculine men, you should exhibit the opposite qualities of what is masculine, not the same. Masculine energy women repeal masculine men. But you can use your masculine qualities when it is required like in your job.
The Feminine World
To attract masculine men you need to think about what a woman provides for a man and what it symbolizes in his life. Men’s experience of life is one of burden and struggle. When they come home they need that feminine energy which they can access through women. You need to create a whole feminine world for a man where he can relax and recharge to be able to go and “fight” and start it all over again the next day and then come home and be your “hero”.
Men need that experience of being a “hero”. If they don’t find it with you, they may seek it somewhere else. Like for example, some masculine men like to help their family or be helpful in their community because they subconsciously like feeling like a hero.
This is developed in little boys too.
Here is an illustration of the difference between the feminine and the masculine world in the book “The Ar of Seduction”:
“These women—among them Bathsheba, from the Old Testament; Helen of Troy; the Chinese siren Hsi Shi; and the greatest of them all, Cleopatra—invented seduction. First they would draw a man in with an alluring appearance, designing their makeup and adornment to fashion the image of a goddess come to life. By showing only glimpses of flesh, they would tease a man’s imagination, stimulating the desire not just for sex but for something greater: the chance to possess a fantasy figure. Once they had their victims’ interest, these women would lure them away from the masculine world of war and politics and get them to spend time in the feminine world—a world of luxury, spectacle, and pleasure.”
You can attract a masculine man by providing that feminine world for him. They can access pleasure through women. And some men can access it on their own through feminine activities.
Men also need to “earn” a woman’s attention. They value it more when they earn it. If you just give it to him, this might feel to him like you’re a low hanging fruit or subconsciously like you’re not the best genes out there. This is a crucial part.
And to provide this “world” for a man, you need to be in pleasure yourself. So make that a priority. Make activities which put you in your pleasure part of your routine. Like taking long baths, activities that make you focus on the senses and whatever makes you feel pleasure.
How to Balance Your Feminine and Masculine Energy
In the next part of this article I am going to talk about how you can balance your feminine and masculine energies that you have in yourself to feel whole as a person and have success and a good life experience. We all have both feminine and masculine qualities and in fact both of them are needed to create in the world.
For example, if you are going to create a business, if you focus only on structure and hustling, you are going to lack the content and the passion in your business. Most of the time, customers buy products not because of their characteristics but because of the way they make them feel. So you need to have this in mind in business too and see everything from this perspective too.
But also structure and business routines are needed. So both the feminine and masculine qualities make up the whole. They both are needed in creating everything in life, just like they both are needed to create a baby.
To balance between your feminine and your masculine energies you need to have structures in your life in order to be able to flow in your feminine. Think of the river floating in the river’s bed. Without the river’s bed the river would be floating in the air in chaos.
What do the structures look like in everyday like?
- Timeboxing or managing your time. Setting a specific time to complete for every activity you need to do and “worrying” about it only in that specific time. Also, find ways to make completing certain tasks more pleasurable.
- Meal prepping. I prepare my meals every week so that I have good, healthy food available whenever I need it so I don’t eat any junk food.
- Work-life balance. This is similar to timeboxing. You don’t need to worry about work all the time. At home or after a certain hour you can be completely in your feminine and focus on pleasure and play.
- Budgeting. We women have the tendency to go shopping a buy a wide variety of things when we are in that create, feminine state. The feminine is like a bottomless pit. The moment we have something we start to desire another. Our focus is widespread and we often like to keep things that serve no purpose in our environment just for decoration or because of how it feels to touch. Having a daily, weekly, monthly and yearly budget can let our creativity flow while choosing what we want to buy but also while keeping a balance in the budget.