In the 2023 I’m going to focus on reinventing myself and get rid about almost all my emotional triggers. Because mastering your emotions is one of the foundations of leveling up as a woman. It’s also a very feminine state to be unbothered because to shows that you are in a state of receiving. Who is the most unbothered person? The person who can relax knows that what they want will come to them.
What does it really take to be that carefree girl that is just worried about herself and no one else? Being unbothered is a characteristic that only the strong-willed can achieve and it’s really a stage of a woman’s evolution that once achieved people can see the difference and understand that they have to do with a Goddess. Being bothered has to do with deep-rooted insecurity issues.
You should never give the aura of having a law self-esteem. There are so many people in the world who fake being unbothered when in fact they are bothered by the slightest situations. Faking being unbothered is certainly a start but you need to really not care anymore.
Achieving this unbothered persona
When it comes to reaching that state of unbothered we need to find our triggers which causes us to be bothered. What’s your personal trigger that makes you react? If you don’t knows it, you can ask a close friend or family member about what seems to make you bothered.
Here are some common triggers:
- When people comment on your looks. This particular person may not even be trying to insult but the triggered person sees it as an insult because of their insecurities.
- You’re dating a guy who hasn’t responded to your text messages all day.
- Hearing negative comments or rumors about you.
- When you partner checks out another woman.
If you don’t have thick skin you will get bothered. Women who are unbothered are confident. If you knows yourself and love yourself, who cares about a rumor about you? Sad and angry are two states that are associated with getting triggered. If you lack an unbothered attitude your emotions are all over the place. You don’t have the upper hand in terms of your emotions. You need to figure out mechanics to help with this.
No one is perfect. Even unbothered women have something that bothers them once in a while. There’s never been a situation in which someone insulted me and it didn’t affect me but I don’t let it affect me long term.
Unbothered in a relationship
Often relationships are the area of life which most triggers us. Carefreeness has to do with a shift in your mindset. If you’re unbothered and not as much emotionally invested in a relationship, you have mastered the art of being unbothered. You can do this by finding other thing in life to be attached to like your children if you are a mother, or friends.
I have an upleveled group of women who we do self-development together which is one of the foundations of my life. So it doesn’t need to be a relationship the foundation of my life. I don’t need to tell my partner everything. I have friends and my sister for that.
People often correlate being unbothered to being emotionless. But in fact, it has more to do with understanding your feeling. You need to understand your feelings and ask yourself, does it really matter, or will it matter in three months from now or a year from now.
Even if you’re extroverted you need to execute the act of not responding. Stop feeling the need to explain yourself. It screams being insecure if you constantly have to explain yourself for everything. If you want to wear a certain style and your friends are teasing you about that, who cares about how they feel?
If you are interacting with someone who have a different point of view than you simply agree with them to get them to shut up and continue doing what you feel you need to do.
They see you as they are
If someone tells you something which triggers you, remember that “We see the world not as it is, but as we are” and “the eyes are not a camera, they are a projector”. It means that if someone sees you are ugly, for example, it means that they are seeing the ugliness in themselves.
And if someone has a different opinion than yours, it means that they are not your “soul family” or “your people of influence”. Don’t get advice from people who you wouldn’t trade places with and certainly don’t get triggered by them. For example, once my mother in expressed her opinion on why I ordered salad in a restaurant and not pizza because according to her “I need to eat everything in my diet, including carbs”. But would I trade places with her? Is her my “person of influence”? No.
Another time she mentioned how a woman needs to work so she can pay her own bills. To be honest, I didn’t understand if she was referring to herself in that moment or was referring to me. But, anyways, she is not my person of influence and I wouldn’t want to trade places with her or model her relationship.
Use Affirmations to reinforce your self-image
By getting yourself upset and responding I hope that you get that you are giving them what they want. The four affirmation on the book the four agreements are:
1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.
If you remind yourself to always try yourself on a daily basis and not take anything personally, you will come closer to that unbothered state. Say someone insults your looks, say the affirmations “I am beautiful, I am unique” and stop allowing your emotions having control over you.
In conclusion
you’re at a relationship and you are demeaned by your partner, this is not a situation to be unbothered. Being unbothered is one thing and demanding for respect in your relationships is another thing. Demanding for respect, is something which has to do with activating your personal power as a woman. Your assertiveness is the act of demanding to be respected, your unbotheredness is not letting anything affect you emotionally.
So, first achieve the state of unbothered and then activate your personal power and demand for respect. I will talk about this second topic on another post.
